New Era x those geeks we used to beat up in highschool

What. The. Fuck. New Era. Have you guys lost your mind? I may have missed the consumer profile meeting but who the fuck told you Star Wars fans wear fitteds, or that dudes who rock fitteds like Star Wars? First of all, anyone who is of the Star Wars era is easily in their 30’s by now, and if they’re still wearing fitteds then I guess this is the kind of bullshit they’d wear. Read the rest of this entry »

Hipster Douchebag See-Saw

Now this just adds fuel to my burning fire of fixed gear hate… full article coming soon, but really. As clever as this is, do you really think this is something that the kids would enjoy? No. Absolutely not. Obviously not. And this obviousness is the things that makes me so damn angry… Read the rest of this entry »

Photo Contests are for Jerks

There are Photography Contests, and there are Photo Contests. The difference… one usually draws a collection of photography that tells a story, that conveys a feeling, or a message. Photo contests usually draw nothing but shallow senseless photographs, hardly worth the distinction of being called “Photography”. Now that you understand the difference, understand what mayhem local website BlogTO stirred up but hosting a “Bike Photo Competition”. Read the rest of this entry »

Hate Blogs are for Winners

This guy hates Phish. I can’t hate on Phish, I have no idea who they are. (Actually I deny their existence). Either way, this reminds me that there are two people kinds of people in this world. Jerks and Winners. Guess what category the Phish phellow phalls into?

Great hating, Winner.

Cyclop Glasses are for Jerks

Accessories (in general) have become the new trend. I should know. I’m a Trend Jerk. Some fashion elitists will tell you that accessorizing one’s outfit has ALWAYS been a detail of the utmost importance. But when choosing which items to accessorize my head I typically look to a hat with a single brim and glasses with multiple lenses. Fortunately, the general populous isn’t bound to the same “need to be unique” rules of the fashion community. So I think the rest of us will stick to our normal habits of walking, talking and NOT looking like a f**king jerk.

But just in case you really are a social reject. You can buy these Maison Margiela shades for the low, low price of $550 US… f**k me.

Via

Rip T Fusion Tees are for Jerks

Are you f**king serious? “Don’t want to work hard to get the body you know you deserve? Introducing the Rip-T Fusion, Torso-Enhancing T-shirt!”. Lazy bums… you are all jerks. And anyone who doesn’t want to put in the work and needs shit like this, deserves the crap life throws at them.

Oh, and for a limited time offer, if you buy now they come with a lifetime supply of Cheetos… how’s that for incentive.

Via

Cats are Jerks

Oh did I offend Mittens,  your 207-year old Siamese who’s waiting for you to turn around so she can crap in your cereal, terrorize your child or attack your Asian neighbor?

Yes that right, cats are jerks.

You know the difference between dogs and cats? A dog, loving and ever-loyal, will lay down and die with you if  you pass away. A cat will get hungry and eat your eyeballs. It’s true. Think of all those old ladies who die with their 23 cats (six named Tabitha) — do they ever find a body? Just sayin’.

Cats don’t care about you. You’re just their pawn in their master plan for cat domination. The only thing they’re worthy of is our first post on jerks.

Hello, Jerk

Okay, that’s harsh. You’re probably not a jerk. Maybe you’ve done some jerky things, but overall you’re a good person. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

To get to the point, the mission of Son of a Jerk is to bring you the very best in jerks, jerk-like activity and the pinnacle, sons of jerks. We’ll do our best to stay on top of the jerk scene (given the city we’re in, it shouldn’t be hard to keep this updated.)

We don’t promise regular updates, just quality jerks.

Thanks for stopping in, you jerk.